Wrong?

Why did i do what i have done?

It is always difficult to decide and make judgement if it is right or wrong when come to educating the child.

I knew i am not in any good mood recently, but i am totally aware that i did not vent my anger on the kid.

I still spend time to play with him, let him mess up the Thomas Big Big builder, meddle with the train and interrupted the routine because it is thru this they learn the cause and effect of an action. I am not upset but instead happy that he fool around with the train. You think otherwise?
It is when he starts to throw the little balls when i could not get hold of myself but i controlled.

I walked out to water the plant, i walked away to do some house work, i re-plant the terrarium... I am doing all these to take a breather, to pack my emotions...

Time to dink milk, he did not finish them up, full already? I dont think so... Lure him with the biscuit proved that i am right... But you thought i wanted to feed him...

You try to feed him lecithin, he tries to be funny, bet you agree with me...
Is he trying his luck? I also dont know, only he himself knows...
Time to sleep, I hold his mouth to position for brushing teeth, but he tries to be funny as usual, turning away... I know i did not hurt him as i did not use any strength to hold his jaw, do you know?

He cries as usual when you appear, trying to get sympathy from you, do you know?
I proceed to let him empty his urine, he continues to cry but at the same time playing with the tap like this morning when you bath him, you think he is in pain? or simply trying his luck to be funny? I again dont know...

He has already learn to false cry, do you know?
It is when i notice that he false cry then i smack his butt last night and you says i have over done it...

I have always remember you read to me when to beat the kid, when he done something to hurt others, may hurt others... I remembered that by heart...

Have i ever wrong beaten him? Yes, once i knew, but i cannot recall the situation, and that always remind me not to handle him when i am not in the mood. Which is why i walked to do other thing last night.

I have cause you alots of disturbance, my sincere apology.

Hope I am still your dearest husband :(